Although we spend our childhood and teenage years sleeping on our own, in our own beds that is, once we are in a relationship, this dynamic changes. In fact, when married, sleeping in separate beds is completely the opposite of the norm. Sharing a bed can be the recipe for a happier marriage, some claim, while others say that it is the beginning of the end of your relationship.
After all, sharing a bed is part of married life right?
Well, no actually it’s not. While sharing a bed is very important to some couples, for others sleeping in separate beds is exactly what they need to improve their sleep and to feel refreshed from the night of rest. Every person has their own sleep style, and if you find that your sleep is being constantly disrupted by the person next to you, it might be worth having a look at how you can actually benefit from having your own beds.
The ultimate goal is for each partner to have a good night of rest. If one of the partnership is struggling to get enough sleep, then something will need to change. When you are sharing a bed with a partner who snores, for instance, the quality of your sleep is likely to be minimised. Once this happens, there is likely to be plenty of resentment and frustration in the relationship.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. You can improve your relationship and not compromise the quality of your sleep when you have separate beds. Sleep has a direct effect on your mood, so when you are not sleeping as well as you should, you could wake up feeling grumpy and tired. These moods can be carried over into your relationship and this, in turn, might damage an otherwise great partnership.
When you are sleeping really well, then the chances are good that your mood will improve along with it and by making this slight change in your sleeping arrangements your relationship could be improving as well.
The other benefits of sleeping in separate beds
Other than improving your mood, there are more ways you can actually benefit when you and your partner are sleeping in separate beds.
- It can improve your relationship
While you might have read that sleeping in separate beds is the beginning of the end of your relationship, the opposite is quite true when you take into consideration just why you are choosing to sleep apart. If the stress of a lack of sleep is putting pressure on your relationship, then sleeping apart might be exactly what you need to improve your relationship.
Having beds of your own simply means that you are very much aware of your needs as well as those of your partner. As long as you and your partner communicate clearly, you will be able to sort out your sleeping arrangements.
- You won’t be skimping on quality time
Yes, you and your partner are away from each other for most of the day so being apart at night might not be something you want. You could also be concerned that you are going to be sacrificing your intimacy when you choose to not share a bed. But sleeping next to one another is not the only intimacy you have to look forward to.
You don’t have to sacrifice every aspect of sharing a bed together, such as reading side by side or having late night conversations. If noise is not what is keeping you awake, you could actually choose to have two beds in one room.
Even when in a relationship, you are likely to want to have your own space. This doesn’t change just because you are now part of a couple. When in your own bed, you can have the quiet time most of us crave at some point or another. Modern relationships tend to place a certain expectation on couples as in they feel the need to surrender their independence to the relationship to become a part of something bigger.
When you move in with a partner, you will be sacrificing some of your quiet time but with your own bed or even your own bedroom, you can improve yourself and have time to unwind. It is also the perfect excuse to starfish out on your mattress and unashamedly hog all of your blankets.
Your sleep needs might be very different to those of your partner. By having your own bed, you will be able to buy the new bed and new mattress that is designed to specifically support your body and help you to sleep better. If you have specific sleep needs, you might find that having your own bed helps to improve your health as you will have the right mattress for your specific needs. There is such a massive variety of new beds for sale these days that you will have no trouble finding the right bed for you.
A case for sharing a bed
Not everything associated with relationships and beds has to be negative. There are more than a few good reasons to share your bed with your partner, such as:
Sleeping next to one another can release the cuddle hormone oxytocin and this can improve your relationship while also helping you to minimise your stress and relax after a long day at work. Although there is no reason why you can’t cuddle before heading to your own bed, those who fall asleep together report feeling more relaxed.
By reducing day to day stress, you will be a far healthier person and you will be less likely to contract illnesses.
As mentioned before, you need to make sure that your communication is very strong when you choose to sleep in separate beds. This is because it is generally accepted that those who sleep in the same bed are more likely to experience stronger, more effective communication. Being close to one another night after night can make you a more loving partner, which will set a good example for your children.
But only when in a stable, long-term relationship. While women will normally be the first to struggle with a shared sleeping environment, when they have been in a stable, healthy long term relationship, they tend to fall asleep faster and stay asleep for longer.
Regardless of what the research says, the final decision is up to you and your personal sleeping preferences. You will be able to find the ideal mattress, whether you choose to share your bed or if you would prefer to each have a bed of your own. You can find your new bed at The Mattress Warehouse. Get in touch with us or buy your bed online today and get the best brands at the most affordable prices.
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